I am finding myself really expressing my emotions through poetry lately. I guess that's better than having writer's block :). I wrote this as a way of saying goodbye to my childhood and my marriage. Awhile back, I did try to get my family back together. I tried to stay on speaking terms with my parents, but unfortunately, they did not want to put any effort into getting the family back together. In fact, they refused to allow my brother to go home a few years ago for Christmas when he took the step forward to try to make amends with them. They told him he was not welcomed in their home and claimed they were looking out for the safety of my little sister Mikaila. My brother has never and would never hurt a child in his life. He is definitely not a threat to anyone but my parents continue to judge his lifestyle because he chose to go to a non Christian college and chose to follow his own path in life. They weren't there for me when I was going through tough times in my own life and whenever I would call my parents and talk to my dad, he would always talk about my little sister and not really show an interest in my life. I finally had to come to terms that the family would never get back together again because my parents refuse to accept me and my brother for the adults that we now are. As for my marriage, well that has been something that is taking time for me to recover from. Even though I was in an abusive marriage, I still cared about and loved my husband. I guess when you love someone, it's hard to just let go sometimes. For a long time, I thought I could fix everything and make it right but he let me go without a fight. There was nothing I could do. I know that I have to move on and live my life although I know that for me it will take awhile before I enter the dating scene again. But I am learning that sometimes you do have to say goodbye in order to find your way in life. It's just too bad that my father and husband could never love me and threw me away instead. But hey, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger and they certainly didn't destroy me. If it's one thing I don't like, it's people feeling sorry for me and what I went through. I don't want people's sympathy or pity because I have come a long way in my life and overcome obstacles to get here so there's no reason to feel sorry for me. Instead, I'd rather people be happy for me that I have found my voice in life and that I am enjoying a life of freedom that I fought hard for.


Time To Go My Own Way by Jenna Kandyce Linch

It's taken me awhile to see things won't ever be the same
There's no reason to stay when on me you always put the blame.
I've held on for way too long
Now I know that for you I can't continue to be strong.

I can't go back and change how things were
Neither can I erase all the pain I had to weather.
The only regret I have is that I didn't see it long ago
But it's not worth living my life hiding in a shadow.

What else is left to say other than I tried
Pushing myself to be everything you wanted, I nearly died.
The person I am though I shouldn't have to sacrifice
Now as I stand here, I am finally taking my own advice.

I loved you with all I had to love
Yet in your eyes I fell short of being an angel sent from above.
Every time you walked away I felt the rejection
All I ever wanted was your love and affection.

I thought I could fix that which had been broken
Sadly to the truth I awoken.
You refused to put aside differences and compromise
That you weren't willing to let go of the past I began to realize.

I used to wonder where I went wrong
Thinking it was my fault all along.
Those were the lies you wanted me to believe
If you kept me in the dark, great things I wouldn't achieve.

Try to cover up your life, but you are transparent
Justifying your behavior, on me you pass judgment.
In your mind, you still see me as a failure
To your needs though I no longer cater.

Maybe one day you'll see what you missed before it's too late
As for me, my life choices I don't have to contemplate.
I just can't let you hold me back anymore
Because by dwelling on the past, I'll never find my open door.

I guess sometimes you aren't able to make it right
Especially when the other person won't put up a fight.
Only so much could I do on my part
Until I eventually came to terms that with you there wouldn't be a new start.

So this life of pain and drama I'm leaving behind
Sometimes you have to say goodbye in order for your way to find.
I never wanted it to turn out like this
The caring person I knew once upon a time ago I dearly miss.

I'd rather leave now then find myself at the point of no return
Not looking back, this bridge I shall burn.
Listening to my heart instead of my head, a leap of faith I take
No more living a life that is fake.

It's time for me to discover the girl within
Victory from the pain I know I can win.
Let it dawn a brand new day
In this world it's time for me to go my own way.


Time To Go My Own Way Copyright © Jenna Kandyce Linch