So it seems to me that other survivors want to make surviving a competiton, compare stories and even compare the work they do as well as attempt to analyze other survivors and tell them how they should live and heal. Well, I think I've been silent long enough on my thoughts about all that. First, just because people don't cry about what they went through does not mean that they don't feel the pain from their past. Everyone deals with pain in their own way. But I am tired of survivors who of all people should be understanding and caring towards each other, comparing stories and saying they had it worse and that me and other survivors didn't have it nearly as bad. How do you know if you had it worse or not? I mean, seriously, how do you know; were you there during the times that other people were going through abuse in their own lives? No! Therefore you have no right to say that to someone! Abuse is abuse and it doesn't matter how long you went through it; it still leaves pain. It's okay to be angry about the things of the past because I deal with anger issues too and it's okay to need to talk about it, but I do not believe it's right to attack and judge someone else, lashing out at them and criticizing their lives because you are still healing from things in your own life. That is wrong! We're here to help each other and reach out to one another, not condemn and judge each other. I know there are different ways to make a difference and no one should make someone else feel that they are not doing enough work to help out. I do think it's good to volunteer and start organizations, etc. but don't force people to feel that they should help out or make them feel that they are not doing enough. Leaders like Mother Teresa and Martin Luther King, Jr. did not have organizations when they did their work. Yeah there are organizations based on their work today but they didn't have those set up when they were speaking out. Years later, they have still left an impact on the world. Also, I know that when reading people's work, you're not always going to like what they write but that doesn't mean you tell them that their stories are whiny and that their work sucks and that they are complaining. Writing for survivors is a form of therapy and allows them to release their feelings and emotions. Look at music. Musicians release their feelings and emotions through their songs. I happen to love the band Linkin Park. Now there are people out there that I'm sure don't like their music and probably find it dark and depressing. However, that is their form of expression and it is their right to express their emotions and feelings in the way that they choose. That doesn't mean you have to sit there and just tell them they suck and all that. We need to start looking at the overall picture and quit tearing each other down! We're all different and we're all finding our own methods to heal and that does not make anyone wrong or right in how they choose to heal in their own lives. I am just so tired of people telling me I need therapy and need counseling because I don't do that to others. I'm not trying to single out people when I say these things, but I just felt it was time for me to break my silence on this because the more I see survivors tearing each other down, making it a competition, telling others they didn't have it as bad and their lives weren't anything compared to theirs, it just really does make me upset. Focus on making a change and helping others, not comparing your story and telling them how to heal.


Sisters In The Fight by Jenna Kandyce Linch

On different paths in life we each travel
A quest to reveal the truth provides our fuel.
We've embarked upon our own healing journey
For the things that we saw and felt others did not see.

Our stories are certainly not the same
Yet from our pain, we could all feel the shame.
Darkness surrounded us day and night
Often we wondered if we'd ever find the light.

None of us thought about what others were going through
We were focused on the abuse in our own lives that we knew.
Escaping our prison became our only concern
Who had it worse than us we didn't have time to discern.

The truth is our stories can never be compared
Because we each suffered pain from the horrors we fared.
What right do we have to tell someone they didn't have it as bad
We may all be survivors, but each of our tales are sad.

That we made it out alive we should be glad
But we shouldn't make being a survivor some sort of fad.
Telling others how they need to heal is not our place
Their own methods let them find and embrace.

Survival is not a competition of who had it worse
The common goal we share is the desire to end this curse.
In all kinds of ways we can each make a difference
So let's put away the condemnation and remove the defense.

It's not about who's doing more
What's important is we find our open door.
Our anger from our pain we should not take out on anyone
Because then we are no better than those who hurt us, making our lives not so fun.

That we're all survivors is our common link
Then why do we allow one another to sink?
No, we're not the same people, but we have the same goal
We want to start a change that will help heal the soul.

Isn't it enough that from the rest of the world our emotions we put aside
From our fellow survivors we shouldn't need to hide.
We don't like others judging us on our past
Let's not do that to each other but create a bond that will last.

There's a world out there crying out in need
How can we save them if we're engrossed and self absorbed in greed.
Each time we tear one another down, more time we waste
We're here to help and reach out, not to criticize and chaste.

On this battlefield we cannot fight alone
We must work together so back together these broken hearts can be sewn.
With open minds, we have to look at the picture overall
Standing together, let's not cause other survivors to fall.

We are who we are
However, we can help others get far.
Side by side, into the darkness we're able to shine our light
When it comes down to it, the connecting thread is that we're all sisters in the fight.


'Sisters In The Fight' Copyright © Jenna Kandyce Linch