I've been going back through my life, looking at where I once was to where I am today. It is amazing what you can learn about yourself when you revisit the past and take a walk down memory lane. For me, taking a walk down memory lane has actually opened my eyes to a lot of things about myself that I didn't see before. For a long time, after I left home at 17 to escape the abuse, I really didn't want to own up to what ha...
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This is something I wrote for my dad. Although I'm an adult now and on my own, I still feel the effects of the abuse I went through in my childhood. I've struggled with anger issues due to the events from the past. I've battled anxiety attacks, flashbacks, self infliction, among other things because of the scars I bear from those days. The hardest thing for me to do was to learn to forgive my father for what he did. It ...
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I am finding myself really expressing my emotions through poetry lately. I guess that's better than having writer's block :). I wrote this as a way of saying goodbye to my childhood and my marriage. Awhile back, I did try to get my family back together. I tried to stay on speaking terms with my parents, but unfortunately, they did not want to put any effort into getting the family back together. In fact, they refused to allow my brother to go home a few years ago for Christmas when he took th...
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So it seems to me that other survivors want to make surviving a competiton, compare stories and even compare the work they do as well as attempt to analyze other survivors and tell them how they should live and heal. Well, I think I've been silent long enough on my thoughts about all that. First, just because people don't cry about what they went through does not mean that they don't feel the pain from their past. Every...
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This poem is to celebrate all my survivor friends who have made a difference in my life and have touched the lives of so many out there with their compassionate and caring nature. This goes out to the Rising Above Magazine staff, my wonderful staff made up of 8 beautiful individuals; to my brother Michael who has always been there for me and is my best friend; to Delilah who is not only my brother's girlfriend but also a close friend of mine and one of the sweetest people I know; to Rebecca w...
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This poem was actually inspired by the song Both Sides Of The Story by Phil Collins. I was listening to the song earlier and thinking about how people don't often hear both sides of the story. Instead, they seem to make their own assumptions, hear what they want to hear, and believe what they want to believe about someone without hearing them out and letting them have a chance to speak. I know that even on here, when I share my own story of survival, people don't always hear or read what I am...
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I Am...

This is just something that came to mind as I was thinking about all the parts that survivors play in life. These are the different things that I believe describe Survivors and all that they do when it comes to rising above and helping out others in life as we create a positive change in this world and make a difference in the lives of those around us.


I ...
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The Girl Within

People give me way too much credit in life and put me up too high. I wrote this so people can see that I am just a girl who is still fighting to survive in life and that I am far from perfect. I struggle with things in my own life every single day due to the pain of my past. I've lost myself before, losing sight of everything that was important t...
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When I was a kid, I was not allowed to show emotion or to even cry. I was brought up that crying was a sign of weakness so I learned to mask every emotion I felt. Even when my childhood ended and I found myself entering adulthood, I still would not allow myself to cry. I kept silent about the things I was going through and the battles I was fighting within myself. Instead I focused on being there for everyone else and helping them through the tough times. I was always the one they could ...
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f it's one thing that I have struggled with in my own life, it's trusting people and learning to let them near me. I went through a lot of emotional abuse in my childhood and grew up in a family that really did not want me. I could sense it too. Love was not shown in my household nor was affection. My dad would often tell me there was nothing to be proud of me for. If he did give me a hug, he would tell me I didn't deserve it. I know that people think that childhood is only a small portion of...
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As an abuse survivor, whenever I write about things I have gone through, I face a lot of judgment and criticism from those who have never experienced abuse in their own lives. In the past, I used to get upset when people would say negative things about it, but now I find myself feeling sorry for them. It just shows me that there is so much work to be done in getting the truth out there about how damaging abuse is and it shows that society is in denial, ignorant, and blind to the truth about a...
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I hear various reasons all the time from those who have not gone through abuse and even from other survivors sadly enough on how I should just get over my past and everything I have been through. Some tell me my story is too depressing and that I seem to just be stuck in the past. But I know as a survivor, writing and speaking out is a way of healing. These people who always tell us to be positive must not understand that life is not always beautiful and everyone has those tough days. Sometim...

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